The Fears of Moving

During the process of retirement and relocation, we have discovered that many of the folks we talk with not only are nervous about moving from the home they have been in for decades, but they are also anxious about leaving their family, friends and grandchildren.  Many of the resources that you have established over the years are about to “be lost” as you and your loved one move to that Ideal destination.  It is a big step, indeed, but remember, this is YOUR TIME! the best years to come, the golden years.  Though this sounds selfish, you need to keep this in your mind.  Family, friends, and grandchildren are excited for you. They want you to relocate to a great places, it gives them the opportunity to have another great getaway opportunity when it is vacation time!

Many of your peers fear that they will be missing out, losing touch, or will never be able to find that great butcher or fish-monger they are on a first name basis with when you walk to the deli.  Believe us, we have discovered that this is the fear exists in ALL of retirees looking to relocate.  It is again normal behavior to fear the unknown, the fact that the butcher may not cut the veal the same way, the hairdresser will over bleach your roots…..We have heard it all, and it is a reality, and that is why we encourage you to do your research, talk to folks that have already made the move.  We also encourage you to visit the locations of interest and “shop” the butchers, check out what folks are saying about the dentist in that area.  Resources like and other online referral and consumer reviews are only finger steps away.  It is now very easy to find the “best of the best” of what you need.  Also remember, many of the locations you are loooing to retire too also have hundreds, if not thousands of folks like you, again as mentioned with the article in reference on what to do next, we bet that you will find that “northern butcher” that now’s what your holiday traditional cuts are, or maybe even from your same area or state

As mentioned in the article (last one written), you will find new friends, activities, hobbies to keep your mind on what you deserve to be doing for you.  These activities will allow you a reason to stay in touch with your family to tell them about how much fun your having.  Today’s access to the world-wide-web will allow you to rub in how much fun you are having in your new home, neighborhood, and with new acquaintances.  Make everyone wish they too could be with you!

We have suggested 10 ways to minimize the anxiety of the retirement relocation.

• Develop a research program to find out the best of the best of what you have to have in the area(s) you are looking to retire.  Many of the new grocery centers, stores, animal hospitals, wellness centers, activity clubs will have websites that will allow you to “meet the team.” There you will find bio’s about all service providers, again, we bet the butchers maybe from your area.

•Find a new friend(s), existing owners in the area or community of interest that can be your resource to help discover the resources you need.  Some communities have a concierge program that will help in your research to the “must haves” with you and your loved one.

Once you have relocated:

•Take your relationship with your spouse to another level. ­ Now that you’re retired, you should have more time to spend with your spouse. Take some time to get romantic with them. Participate in an activity that will allow you to enjoy a side of each other you may have never seen, kayak, or art class.  Then photo document and send photo’s back home.

• Build a strong social network ­ This can be accomplished by volunteering at your favorite non-profit organization, enrolling in a class, or joining a group.

• Remain in touch with ex-colleagues. Your coworkers are important to you and therefore you should stay connected to them.  Many of them are preparing to do what you have.  Many will decide to move to the same area or community as you. Not only will this keep your connection strong but it will also ensure that you remain up to date on past work happenings and keep your friends from work.

• Create meaningful relationships ­ Besides ex colleagues, now is the time to create new meaningful relationships.  If you have retired in an active retirement community, this maybe very easy to do with endless activities in the community, connections will easily be made.

• Join clubs ­ You can connect with like-minded people by joining a club or a social group.  If you are living in a planned community, this will be easier to accomplish.  Your clubhouse will have organized activities for you to choose.  The clubs will typically post the photo’s online.  Forward the link to your family, they will see how much fun your having.

• Participate in community service and volunteer groups in the new location that you were members of back at home. ­ You can remain connected to people of various dimensions by assisting with some community service projects. This is one of the simplest ways to stay connected with friends from back home, to compare and contrast the similarities in the services.

• Explore a hobby ­ In exploring this hobby, join a group of people who also have this interest such as a kayak club or swimming club. This will increase your interaction with people with similar interests, keep you fit, mentally and physically.  Remember, you deserve to do what you want to do or always wanted to do.

• Re-educate yourself ­  Go back to school and participate in classes that you can learn something new with other people. Make sure that you keep a positive and friendly attitude and you’ll meet new people all the time.

In conclusion, you can remain connected with family and friends during retirement. You simply have to be willing to accept that this time is FOR YOU!  Your friends and family back north will want to see what you are doing, how much fun you are having.  Remember, they will visit several times a year, so don’t design a home that is too accommodating, they may never leave!  The key to overcoming the anxiety of relocation is to spear head it before you relocate.  Use the internet and resources to find the best doctors, butchers, markets that will allow you to have the comfort that you are experiencing right now in your hometown. The key is to have fun now, in retirement, and the activities that will fill your days.  We bet the bank that you will be surprised to find some amazing talent in stylelists and hairdressers for you men out there that may want to hide that bit of grey that finally has arrived.  Remember, to have as much fun as possible, you and your loved one deserve it!

Source: David Maurer/Retirement Specialist of Wilmington, NC

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